Friendship, Fear and Trepidation...

Most of this was written on January 18

Y'AAAALLLL....

Okay, first of all, let me just say!!!

This internet strike is happening on my birthday.

I have two friends who are having major life drama.  On my birthday.

Today is the 5th anniversary of my cousin's death.

I am 45 years-old and still think it is all about me.  On my birthday.

That is now off my chest.  No, I mean it.  It completely is, and y'all know the drill.  Blogging is free therapy.   Seriously.

Because I love you and I want to be entirely honest, I will tell you.  When you are just about to be old, gifts stop being whatever is on your list, and start being intangibles.

Loving that pair of boots?  Go ahead and get them.  You are getting love for Christmas and your birthday.  This is not a complaint.  You are getting love and boots.  It's a good thing.

I have been hinting, so I will just tell you all I have been blessed with... Just like a kid coming back to school from Christmas Winter, wait...NO... Christmas break and  having to write a Theme.  I am going to tell you what I got for Christmas and my birthday.

Bah.  Ha.  Ha.

#1  A Tiara...  I am fascinated by  what causes someone to fall in love.  Having known each other in the blog for just a minute, Carrie reminded me of who I am and what I am worth by sending me an actual crown in the real life mail. And a very speical card. Like people used to do.  Back when f*ceb**k didn't exist and the word 'friend' meant something.

#2  An IRL friend made Christmas possible for my kids.  I am not sure what we would have done otherwise.  Probably jacked up some credit cards, like idiots.  It was a sacrifice for them.  Seriously, y'all.  Just like, Jesus' love.  We didn't earn it and don't deserve it.  Can't really explain it.  Thanks are not, either, enough.

#3  How do you explain?  Some folk appeared out of nowhere. Incredibly fun, generous, challenging people.
A conversation in August, that retreat in October, um...friendship.  Sheesh.  It's that thing again.  How do you explain when someone just ambles into your life and starts loving you.  And it's a couple friends thing.  Does anyone else get silly and, like, all middle school crushy...about your couple friends?

Probably, that's just us.

We know they already have everyone someone else, but it's not out of the question for me to go all Tayl*r Sw*ft on them... I would have to lose about 85 pounds or, alternatively, while I am  already being creepy, I could just send T.S. some sandwiches.  In the mail.

#4  People keep giving us clothes.  The girls and I don't have to dress like it is an office or wear uniforms.  Marcus is taken care of. It hasn't been in the budget and some really cool women with some incredible taste have been cleaning out their closets.

#5  Since, "the merger", Mickey has gotten two messages.  They didn't have not one single thing to do with me.  They just gave me courage. Both of them do what I do all the time,  Remind him how good he is at his job; but, much like your mom telling you you're beautiful, it comes from someone who doesn't HAVE to say it.  (Perhaps, you know me well enough by now that you know that I don't say anything if I feel I have to. [I digress.]) I really wish I could elaborate.  REALLY.

#6  Okay...I just struggle to title my posts.  You are wondering this whole time, "What in the world? How many times have I explained SEO to her?  Oh my GOSH!"  So there was a reason and here it is...

Jennifer, from Momma Made It Look Easy, mentioned way back in the summer that she was going to Blissdom.  Well, her plans changed.  She passed her registration along to me. And again, I am blown away.

 I have never been to a blog conference, and I am trying to study up. I am scared.  Will I be the frumpiest?  Is there an award for that?  I am sure to be among the oldest.  The website says that crying in the restroom is not allowed.  What is the penalty for that?  What if I am not computer-y enough?  What if people laugh at my gigantic-butt, ancient, carved-from-stone laptop?  Seriously.

I need to get down to the serious business of putting to bed my commitments for the three days of conference, praying that my husband's bat-poo crazy, work life doesn't come up with some fabricated obstacle; and asking for the grace to plan my outfits, food and budget to disguise the fact that I haven't been out of my house for 12 years.  It is with a certain amount of fear and trepidation that I tell you...

I am 'geeked'.

And overwhelmed.

Again.

Thank you, Jennifer.

Thank you, all of my friends the hands and feet of God's extravagant love in my life.

I'm such a dork.




I'm sharing my Awesome with Jennifer.  You should too.