Spring Break '11

Spring Break was never a big deal for me.  Not in the "road-trip-with-people-less-mature-than-six-year-olds-entrusted-with-condos-autos-and-keg...-os, at the beach" kind of a way.

My mom's compulsive cleanliness was at full bloom.  I had a reliable, pre-owned, Datsun I wanted to fill with gas.  My spring break consisted of helping my mom with spring cleaning, working, and talking on a phone that was connected to the wall by a cord (yes, my young friends, I am that old).  It was just a week in the spring that I didn't have to go to the school for five days and I didn't have homework for 10 days.

Fast forward, 26 several years.  My daughters believe Spring Break is some sort of mandatory thing like vaccinations or infant car seats, so if we aren't traveling I have to fill their days with fun.  You know.  Fun.  Like Middle Schoolers are in any way qualified to define fun.

Bless their hearts.

Not only are we homeschooling and accountable to our state standards to complete 180 (four hour) days of school between July 1 and June 30* ,they also have "What-In-The-World-Is-Spring-Break?-Girl" for a mom.  In the final analysis, I think they will do fine.  I will reach my goal.  They will believe they have reached theirs.  For their quick reference, I have developed the...

ACCIDENTAL GUIDE TO REALITY CONCERNING THE SPRING BREAK TO WHICH YOU FEEL ENTITLED

1) It is Spring.
2)You are correct in discerning that your friends who attend traditional schools are taking breaks this time of year.
3) The aforementioned breaks are most richly deserved as these people are up and out of bed at 6:30 or so.  Have their breakfast, style themselves and are in first hour Spanish at 7:59:45 a.m. five days a week for the last 7 months.
4) They work hard all day and most of the evening on homework.  They can't go to the bathroom when they wish and can't ooze through the kitchen for a quick 'nosh' at the top of the hour.
5) Many of your age mates are responsible for themselves from the time they step out the door for the bus stop until their custodial parent arrives home at 7:00 p.m. or later.  Meaning, that in addition to academics, they have an adult's share in household responsibilities.
6)You are having a break every day of your life.
7) I dislike an entitled attitude.  Just to clarify.  Love you.  Like you.  Dislike the "Gimme-All-The-Privileges-Without-the-Responsibility" attitude.  Pick. Up. Your. Stuff.
8) You are currently enjoying a break in the form of two days of standardized testing, a break from household chores, excellent weather outdoors and a house full of food.
9) You are big enough to 'get' that household finances are mightily stretched.  I know because I have watched one of you step up and act like an adult when the answer has had to be 'no', all winter.  I know you also 'get' that I am sadder than you are that amusement parks and/or hotels, are out of the question.
10)  You get to find out early, that life is not always served up in trips to the beach and mani-pedis.  It is a great life skill to be able to make your own fun. You can learn to give yourself a great mani-pedi at home and we can haul the lawn chairs out and you can slather yourself with sunscreen right in your own backyard.  When night falls, we will go down to the "trendy drinking district" and let you watch an inebriated young woman make the first of a series of bad decisions she won't remember until "Mr Right Now" posts photos on a social media site.  We'll go out to eat in the evening. Voila. Spring Break in a Can.
11) My dad would have said something, like, "Spring up off the couch and take a Break from the TV."  I don't say stuff like that.




*some people may or may not have taken some unauthorized time off while their mom was out of town earlier this school year.